why i’m fat

i have every reason in the world to lose weight. i really do. but then MOH and i had a silly moment like this and i think, as long as he thinks i’m ok, i’m fine with that.

MOH: have you lost weight?

me: no.

MOH: yes, you have.

me: no. well, maybe a kilo. or half-a-kilo. i’m stressed out with all this moving business, you know.

MOH: but, but… look at your tummy.

me: let’s not look at my tummy. it’s fat and ugly.

MOH: it’s lost a little fat.

me: probably needs it.

MOH: but it’s so cute when it’s all fat and soft.

me: you’re mental.

MOH: we have to fatten you up again.

me: i’m already fat.

my husband is a bad influence.


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